Jury Duty (March 2026)
Day One:
I had jury duty today. There was a lot of traffic going downtown, but it was sunny. This is my second time going into jury duty, but last time they called too many people and let us go after a couple of minutes. I wasn’t as lucky this time. I had anticipated a free day off so I parked on Naito in a 5 hour spot. When I learned I was stuck until 5pm, I had to move my car. When I got to the car I had a ticket on the windshield. $85 for not having a license plate on the front of “The Shark” (that’s what I call my car because it is silver). A price I’m willing to pay for 8 months of looking cool AF. I was more pissed about having to pay for parking twice. When I got back inside I asked if they validate parking and they said “no.” I said “what a sick world” to the two women at the information desk. I went back upstairs and tried to find a chair, but they were all taken except for some in a giant cluster of people, and I was feeling uneasy about that. I picked a spot as far a way from everyone that I could find and sat down on the floor. They played two videos about confirmation bias and the inherent pervasive judgement that we all have, even the lawyers, judges, and most of all, cops. They told us not to have that today. I neglected to bring any snacks, but I had my Steinbeck. I read a lot of pages and nearly cried a few times. When the book (East of Eden) would strike a chord, I would look out the third story window at the river, buildings, and Mount Hood. It’s a really nice view up there. The feds got good real estate. One consolation for anyone who has to visit, I suppose. Some poor bastard gets sentenced to 30 years, at least there’s a stunning vista before your liberty gets stripped away. Mount Hood was wearing a fuzzy wizard’s hat, pulled so low that I could hardly recognize it in the distance. As the day grew on it slowly took it off, shimmering white in the sun. Totally covered from the recent deluge we had. It was a beautiful day TBH. I didn’t get called in the morning, and I got to go on lunch break at 11:30. They give you until 1pm to get back, so I had a while to meander around. I went to a small deli in an office building and got chicken bento. I have been on a teriyaki chicken kick lately, I’m trying as many places in town as I can. It was the weirdest teriyaki chicken I’ve ever had. Not necessarily bad, but not good. In hindsight I should have got the turkey dinner meal or the meatloaf sandwich. I have a feeling they would do those justice. The man behind the counter went outside and gave a houseless person a sandwich, and it made me tear up. When I was done eating I walked along the waterfront. The river was brown with mud and huge clumps of sticks and debris floated slowly north. I forgot until then that the Willamette flows north, like the Nile. The cherry blossoms haven’t bloomed yet, but they are coming soon. The park wasn’t crowded, it was nice. At 2:15 I got called. I kind of knew it was coming. Courtoom 13C. Juror #12. These aren’t good numbers. We all filed in there and then we had to hear more about confirmation bias, and how we all have it, but try not to have it right now. We all had to answer a list of questions, the last one being if you had ever been in a courtoom before. I said “no” but I have seen Judge Judy if that counts. Everyone laughed. The judge said “it counts for something.” The case was about a robbery/burglary type deal. The defendant was totally bald with a huge mustache and a few face tats. His lawyer, the defense, was responsible for sussing out the best 14 citizens to keep her client a free man. IDK what came over me in the courtroom. I answered questions honestly, but I said more than I should have. I even admitted that I was a little emotional being there, which I hadn’t expected. I liked the defense lawyer, I think she’s probably a good person. She’s maybe even a public defender, working for little to nothing. I didn’t like her analogies though, and I was having a hard time biting my tongue. It felt to me kind of like a philosophical debate, which I realize I must enjoy. At one point she asked if tattoos are a basis for pre-determined judgement and mentioned her Batman tat as a softening tactic. I regret saying this now, after some reflection, but I still kinda don’t. I raised my hand and said “respectfully, it isn’t the face tats, but rather the hair (or lack thereof) and huge mustache in tandem with the face tats that might lead me to believe this man is associated with a hate group, and given this city/country’s recent history, that would lead me in a judgemental direction.” I really said that shit in court, in front of this dude. In my defense, I said “I’m sorry bro” to the guy. If he’s not a Neo-Nazi, I feel bad cuz I might have swayed someone to think that too, but if he is a skinhead, fuck ‘em! Although I am a little scared that I might see the dude out someday. I don’t feel bad about what I said per se, I just realize that I kinda put a spotlight on myself for no reason. I just like to argue for arguments sake. Janet said that I like to hear myself talk, and it is true. I do listen to my own music. I think a bird might sing just to sing sometimes, or maybe it comes from loneliness. I haven’t been around that many people going over an idea since college. It was kind of invigorating but I also found myself like I was in school, looking at the ceiling, floor, scoffing under my breath, etc. Anytime I’m in an environment like that I kind of enjoy being mischevious. IDK why. I remember doing it in school. Janet said I might have defiance disorder. After dinner I worked on the garden and listened to YouTube videos about defiance disorder. I don’t have all 4 symptoms but I definitely have at least 2. I worked in the garden until the sun was behind the trees and it was still warm. Spring is upon us. I have to report back to jury duty at 8am. I’m not gonna be bad tomorrow. I hope the weather is nice again.
Day 2:
I woke up before my alarm. It’s funny how quickly the body gets used to something. I wasn’t even particularly excited for it, but I was in a good mood. I was singing Ne-Yo pretty loud for Janet before she left for work. Miss Independent and that “you make me better” song. I feel like I’m in the same register as Ne-Yo, so I kinda like his music now. I got to the courthouse and my enthusiasm quickly waned. Thank god for Steinbeck. They called a huge list of names around 10:45, probably 30-40 people. My heart was pounding in my ears but it didn’t get called. Relief...until the man said “you’re free to go” and I felt a hot anguish all over my body. There were about 30-40 people left in the jury room now, and it takes 14 to make a trial. I’m close to 50-50 chances. More time passed and I was getting impatient. I asked the poor civil servant behind the desk a rhetorical question. I emphasized that it was rhetorical and asked what the punishment would be if I simply left and didn’t come back. She didn’t understand, or probably just refused to believe that someone would ask that, but I asked again. I really did want to know. She told me that it was up to the judge. I Googled it, and the punishment is anywhere from a $100 fine to up to 5 days in jail. I couldn’t risk a week in the slammer, so I slithered back to my corner and noticed some white woman with half of her head shaved sneering at me. I genuinely recognize the reason for jury duty, and the need for jurors, but I can’t wrap my head around the idea of jeopardizing someone elses life for another. A month of jury duty could ruin a family financially, and for what? Grand larceny is any amount over $1,000 stolen. There were surgeons in the courtoom listening to people argue over a stolen bike. We all had to state our employment, there were OHSU surgeons, lawyers, teachers, etc. I guess one straw could break the camels back, so we gotta grasp at them desperately not to. IDK man. At least validate parking. I got another coffee from the spot outside the jury room, which is owned and operated by a blind man. I know he’s blind because there is a plaque on the wall stating that he’s blind, and he wears dark sunglasses. I got a coffee from there yesterday too, but I had just got a ticket so I didn’t tip him cuz I was upset and didn’t want to give the state any more of my hard-earned cash, and I associated him with them by proximity. When I was laying in bed I felt bad about it, because I also realized that I didn’t tip because he can’t see the screen when he flips the tablet back around after paying. I told myself that I would tip him today, and I did, but it wasn’t him that took my order. He was standing in the back a few feet away, staring down at the floor. He seemed to be very deep in thought. I wondered what a blind person’s daydreams must be like. The inner thoughts of a blind or deaf person must be much, much deeper than mine. I got released at about 1:15 and was very relieved. I’m sure everyone else was too.
Neu Yiddy (July 2026)
Traveled to Nueva Yol with Noah in July to visit Milc. We went to the Jay-Z concert at Yankee Stadium. Eminem was there. It was a great time.